her facebook's as public as her vagina
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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