worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize