I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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