perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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