i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We need a shit load of segways right now
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize