i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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