well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
