So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
