i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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