his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
