I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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