i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize