We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
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I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
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Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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