You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
only you would photoshop your dick
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
