i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
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I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
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So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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