im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
