i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
vagina is talking i cant
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
