This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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