ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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