Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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