I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize