I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
How drunk are you?
Completed.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
