i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
