Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize