talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
