he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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