My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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