my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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