i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
