Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
