I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
