If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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