hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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