I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
