oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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