i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
