Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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