Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
operation have a gay friend backfired
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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