i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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