Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
