So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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