he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
