The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
