Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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