dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
sick fucks of a feather flock together
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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