I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
