She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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