there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
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