I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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