"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
