I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
