who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you didnt know i had herpes?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
