piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
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i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
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I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?