That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.