He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
